Why don't eggs tell jokes?  They'd crack each other up.

Why is milk the fastest thing in the world?  Because it's pasteurised before you see it.

How do you make a strawberry shake?  Take it to a scary movie!

What food is best for your eye sight?  Sea food!

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?  With a pumpkin patch.

What kind of food do scarecrows like?  Strawberries!

What do you call a cow with no legs?  Ground Beef!

What did one plate say to the other ?  Lunch is on me! 

What did the mother monster tell the baby monster when he ate too fast?  Stop goblin your food.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?  Between us, something smells.

PET PRANK:

Can you imagine the looks on the faes of your family and friends as you chow down a can of pet food with great gusto?  Here's how you can make it a reality.

TOOLS OF THE TRADE:

A small can of pet food(dog or cat tins are good)  A small can of tuna or chucky soup(something that you can eat that resemble the pet food)  A fork.

GOTCHA:

Carefully open the can of pet food and thoroughly wash it out with soap, making sure you remove all the remains.  Replace the pet food with the tuna or a suitable subsitute and replace the lid as best you can.  

When your family  or friends have gathered around or are having a meal together, casually take out your can, remove the lid and heartily tuck into your meal with a fork or even try using your fingers.  Enjoy the looks on their faces as they watch you guzzle down your dog's next meal.

Have fun, and a giggle.

Jennifer.